When 2009 began...

... we generally have no idea how it was going to end.

2009 taught me a lot. It never really occurred to me how much this year will change how I see myself and the world around me. I started the year with a really interesting goal. I have been serious with life for the past years that by the end of 2008, it took a toll on me. I was tired and bored. I felt that I sucked life out of me. I began 2009 with a promise that I will make my life more colorful and exciting. And I did.

I've met a lot of people that helped me get to know myself better. All the encounters, all the conversations that happened this year left wonderful memories. The laughter that I shared with all of these people, who are amazing in a lot of ways, is priceless. 2009 was a process of learning and I have gained and lost friends in this experience. I am closer to some, missing some, and wishes I could be closer to some more. But I am happy with the relationships I have now and the level they are in. This will really sound cheesy but life wouldn't be as bright without them. Winnipeg won't be home without friends like them.

Yes, you read that right. I consider the Peg as home. I still love the homeland, don't get me wrong. It's just that right now, if you ask me, almost everything that is important to me is here and it does feel like home. I will always have deep affection and an invaluable connection with everything that is in the Philippines, of course. And yes, I still hope I can come back anytime soon. My professor told me before I left that I should make my country and my university proud wherever I go. I said yes and I intend to keep that promise. I will come back and do something someday. A lot have happened in the Philippines this year that almost every week there is a new headline story. From a philandering local hero, to very strong typhoons, and to a gruesome massacre, the country have gone through a lot. Lives have been lost but hey, every cloud has a silver lining. We observed how resilient Filipinos are. We realized that we can be heroes in our own little way and that we have each others' backs after all.

2009 was far from perfect but the imperfections of this year made it beautiful. Excuse me for sounding so romantic. But honestly, I really do feel that the mistakes that I did this year and all the foolishness I've engaged myself into made me feel closer to the earth and more human. I was too safe before - over analyzing, over rationalizing, and oversimplifying. I just had to destroy all the walls myself and let people in once and for all. And I am proud to say I have no regrets. There is more to life than getting As. School cannot teach us how to live a life that is composed of a thousand colorful and wonderful stories.

It is comforting to know that after all the trials that we faced this year, we are here and alive. Hopefully 2009 made us better than the previous years. It may be coming to an end but some of the things that happened will carry on to the next year. I guess it is most important that we remain hopeful that things will be better. And if ever things get worse, holding on to our faith and believing that everything is going to be all right in the end is the best weapon and shield that we have.

With this, I'm welcoming 2010 with a smile on my face and hope in my eyes. Let's rock n' roll!

Daph's Despedida

Breakfast at the Salisbury House. Yey! FUN!

Daph's leaving on the 2nd of January for Saskatoon. She's gonna go with our other friend, Jehn, to complete the co-op program. Goodluck, girls!!!

Topic of the Day: Mcnally Robinson Polo Park is closing. It's soooo sad. We went there after Salisbury and the books are getting sold pretty quickly. Prairie Ink is already closed. Sad, sad. I always go there during my break. I'll miss it talaga!

Photos from: Arianne Solis

WE FAILED!

We failed to watch Avatar yesterday kasi sold out!!! We were all disappointed. I don't know when I'm going to watch it but I will definitely see it in 3D. Hindi pwedeng hindi.

So we went back to Polo after accepting our defeat. I bought a lip conditioner from MAC. I used the gift card Lem gave me. (Thanks, Lem!)

I bought it coz I badly need one. My lips bled the other day after I applied Blistex because it was already so dry from the wind/cold. Wala kaming mapuntahan after checking out the Sony store and Athlete's World. Alvir and I were craving for ice cream so we decided to go buy some Selecta Ice Cream imported from the homeland. Charrie then called and invited everyone to go wall climbing so what we did was we bought the ice cream, Patrick drove me home, they wall climbed (or watched Charrie, Fae, and Jona wallclimb LOL),  and then they came back to my house to eat the ice cream.

We bought 2 tubs: Ube Royal and Queso Royale. BOTH AWESOME. Sobrang mahal but worth it!

Alvir, Ube, and Queso

We chatted with Sybil and Paul (who's having a vacation in the Philippines right now) while eating. Kwentuhan at lokohan over ice cream. We also talked to Marvin na nagtampo kasi he wasn't invited. Hahahaha! FUN, FUN!

Later, party uli at Marylin's house.

Oh no, no, no!

You get W-T-F feelings when things have been said before and now they are being said again for the second time but by a different person. Happened twice already with this particular guy. I am so not waiting for STRIKE 3. One, because it's weird; Second, I don't want those things coming from him. You know, there's one bad association right there when he's saying the same things as that other guy; Lastly, did already I say it's weird?

Oh I don't want to talk to this guy anymore. Let's see.

Boxing Day

Shopping never stops. I've made so many shopping trips in just a week! I've already spent... OH DON'T EVEN ASK. Well, today is the 26th which means it's BOXING DAY! It also means that more shopping has to be done. The mall opened at 8.30 but some stores like Best Buy opened at 5.30. Lots of people were in the mall despite of the fact that the snow was so bad. 5cm maybe? We had to shovel before we can leave the house.

Anyway, we were at the mall at 9am, which means I had an hour to shop since I have to start work at 10. I actually did pretty well. I bought some accessories, a cardigan, a wallet, shoes for my brother, dress for Zia, and some gifts. It's interesting that I almost got everything covered this holiday/shopping season. I have all that I need. Boots, clothes, accessories...Well, except maybe for additional pairs of jeans which I didn't get the chance to buy because I just had no time. And maybe I could use a new bag. Oh shit. Here I am thinking about more gastos.

Soooo the mall was busy. Our store not so much; the other stores, on the other hand, even have line ups. Lulu Lemon, Guess, and Club Monaco have lines. Lulu Lemon, I think, was the busiest. We were curious why everyone was lining up. Chi asked one of our customers who came from there and she said she was able to buy a jacket for only $25 from $100+. AMAAAZING! Wish I was able to go.

I'm not sure if there will still be sales tomorrow but I think I'll check some of the stores out since I'm gonna be there again for work. YAY!

Merry, merry Part II

UPDATED! :)

Anjo, Tito Api and I went to Kuya Alex' house. Met Zia finally! SHE'S ADORABLE. She's also a well-behaved baby. Tulog sya when we arrived but then she woke up after a few minutes. When she woke up, she's smiling agad. SO CUTE! 

 Me and Zia

 Cutie Zia!

We heard mass at 9.30 then went home. PLAYED BANDHERO with Itel and Anjo. Superrr fun! Feeling band talaga. I like the drums better than the guitar though. We went upstairs at 12 midnight to eat and for the gift giving.

Nanay and Tito Api and some of the gifts

I LOVE MY BROTHER!!! He gave me and Itel a new camera!!! It's purple too!We were surprised. Nilalait pa namin dati kasi maliit yung box tapos nakalagay pa sa floor. HAHAHA!

Itel unwrapping Anjo's gift

Merry, merry Christmas everyone! 

Merry, merry!

Last night was the UM-Sigaw Christmas party at Martini's. Ohmygahd. Too much singing, too much dancing, TOO MUCH FUN.

Dancing to Dancing Queen

We won the Christmas quiz game! Memorizing the 12 Days of Christmas with my sister paid off. LOL

The winners! YAY!

Near the end of the night, I was already so haggard. I feel so hot that I didn't even wear my winter coat when I was walking to the car. Holyshit. BUT IT WAS SUPER FUN. We sang all of our signature songs - Total Ecplipse of the Heart and Making Love Out of Nothing at All. DF and I sang our ultimate favorite, Here I Am. And the Brokebacks sang Careless Whisper with EJ. SUPER FUNNEEEYYY!

Group picture! A lot have gone home already!
Je suis fatigué mais heureux.

Photos from Arianne Solis and Sybil Abarientos

Work Kills

So far I haven't done anything worthwhile. Well, except maybe for sleeping. I've been making up for all the days I was only dependent on coffee for survival because of the lack of sleep. I haven't made a lot of progress with my Christmas shopping, I haven't gone back to edit my thesis introduction, and I haven't edited my library proposal. Also, I haven't bought any clothes for Christmas and I haven't had my haircut either. All I do is work. Oh shit. What is happening to my Christmas vacation??? Even on Boxing Day, I'm working.

This is bad. I'm starting to hate it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try and finish my Christmas shopping and maybe shop for clothes then work. And then Tuesday morning, I'll get my haircut and then go to the party. And then work, work, work. It's never ending!!! I wish for the 27th so people will stop shopping already.

As for other things, maybe I should list all the things that I should do so I can schedule each appropriately. I don't know maybe it's just hormones but I feel that I'm not doing anything of much worth lately. I can't see the importance of what I've been doing. I feel so stagnant.

Wow, that's so emo.

It's just that I want to do lots of things but I can't start them now because obviously I still have to graduate. But I can't help but feel that sad, sorry feeling that I'm not doing anything now besides studying. Ay nako. I hate it.

Anyway, I really think the "nasa isip mo lang ang magic" is true. I have tried. I acted kilig but really...it's nothing. It's so sad. I feel sad for myself. LOL

Self, if it's not him then what exactly are you looking for?

RIP, Brittany

Out of the blue, I visited Perez Hilton's site this morning and was so surprised about the breaking news: Brittany having cardiac arrest and dying. She's so young and promising. Rest in peace! Boogie wonderland forever!

And Fall 09 is done!

Don't ask about my paper. Let's just call it "that repressed memory".

So yeah, Fall 09 is officially overrr. I wish I can rest but now I realized that I have a lot of shifts to cover and the days I don't work, I have to catch up on a lot of things. Kailan ba kasi ako nagbakasyon talaga?

Right now, I just want to sleep. I have no plans but to have a The Big Bang Theory marathon.

Misa de Gallo

Misa de Gallo starts today. I have never ever attended one and maybe I should. The reason why is that I was never too masipag enough to wake up very early, sit through a mass, and promise not to fall asleep. Considering that I've never lived far from a church my entire life, it's weird that I've never attended one. Be it here or back the Philippines, the church is always walkable. Well, of course, not during the winter but still IT'S VERY NEAR my house.

And of course, when talking about Pinoy traditions, FOOD can't be missing. The puto bumbong, the tsokolate, the salabat, and the bibingka. Prepare your Kleenex. Nakakaiyak sila.

I like this REALLY chocolate-y tsokolate. I like my chocolate drink bitter, rich, and somewhat thick. That's why I don't like the ones you usually find in the grocery. I don't like milk in my chocolate. (Which also explains why I don't like milk chocolate candy bars.) I think my mom bought me a dark choco drink before. I can't remember. Maybe I should raid Superstore and find out if they have rich chocolate.



WAAAAH! This is what I miss about Pinoy Christmas: THE FOOD. LOL I remember my mom's cousin makes really good bibingka and puto bumbong. My sister would request them everyday so we have them everyday after school. WAAH I miss those days!

Live and let die

I missed Neil Gaiman. :( I read that there were lots of people wanting to see him so McNally Robinson had to issue passes. So you need one to go in. They even closed the bookstore for, I think, 30 minutes to prepare. WOW. I wish they do this more often. I wish they would bring lots of distinguished writers and have talks or something here in the Peg.

Argh. Stupid virus. I really hate being sick! The world stops when you become sick. I can't do anything. I can't go anywhere especially that it's what, -30 outside?

The whole day I'm just here in my bed. I was having chills so I was bundled up. I was getting dizzy too so I just lay here. My head aches. Luckily, Lem took my shift tonight. I had all day to become better. And yes, I'm better now. The pills worked!

I probably won't be able to go the library tomorrow even if I want to. I have to write my paper here in my room even if I know that I work really slow at home. I still have to write a few more pages. I'm doing good. I just need to be better so I can finish it already.

And karma strikes back

I'm sooo sick. I wasn't able to go to work and it looks like I won't be able to go to the library tomorrow to write my paper. Talk about great timing.

My lungs feel heavy and my back aches sooo much. I don't know why. All I know is that the pain is excruciating. I slept after calling work. Right now, I'm having chills.

I hope I get better coz I can't be sick. Not now.

Source: http://caitttt.tumblr.com/post/284039323

Resurrection

Fabsugar tweeted that eLuxury is now Nowness.

If you remember, eLuxury closed down mid-2009. It's opening it's cyberdoors again only with a different name. I don't know why they decided to call it Nowness. The word is just...I don't know, weird? Fabsugar said operations will start next year. Right now the Nowness website contains very short articles about fashion and stuff. Can't really tell what the direction is. Today they are featuring Dior but they also have a feature about Alfred Nobel.



Just check the website at Nowness.com.

Lip Ball

Awww... This lip balm is cute! This cutie contains shea butter and jojoba oil. It comes in three flavors: Honeysuckle Honeydew, Summer Fruit, and Sweet Mint. The best part is it's organic. And did I mention it's really cheap? It's USD$3.29 a pop.

I'm not sure though if this is easy to store in your bag. The shape is cute but I'm guessing it will fit oddly inside a purse.

Check out this at evolutionofsmooth.com.

Webcam Moments

Mavic: Ano yang nasa ulo mo?
Me: Ha? Anong nasa ulo? Halo yan!
Mavic: Little sungays.
Me: Halo yan! May design lang!

Faucet Face

As some of you may know, I've promised about a year ago that I won't buy bottled water anymore. I've stuck to that promise and I haven't bought single bottle ever since. And I'm someone who's afraid of committing to one thing, you should be proud of me. Hahaha!

For a while I have been using my blue, stainless steel water bottle from Starbucks. It's kawawa na. Color is a bit faded and has dents on the bottom part when I accidentally dropped it in the middle of the road. Poor guy has a clumsy owner. I want to buy a new one so I've been looking lately.

I found this cute bottles online. One of them was designed by Anneka Tran. I follow her blog and she's really good. The bottles are made of glass though but they are oh-so-cute! The makers said they made the glass thick enough to prevent breakage. They are also BPA-free.

Aren't they cute? Anneka designed the Hummingbird one. Too bad they won't be available until next year. It would've been a great Christmas gift.

Check the bottles out at: http://faucetface.com/

If you don't have enough B.S. in your life..

The logic of consumption functions as the conceptual frame for the politics of the public sphere.

I don't even know if this makes sense but admit it, it sounds smart, diba? Hahahaha! This reminds me of those really hard to read Political Studies textbooks I read for my Political Science class in Diliman. Sobrang nosebleed talaga. I don't know why they do that, you write a book to spread knowledge and information not to keep people guessing about you actually mean. I mean, really who do you write these books for? Eh more likely, students naman talaga yung nagbabasa ng mga ganyang libro. And usually, undergrads don't have enough experience to decipher the meaning behind such complicated sentences.

Hold on, I'll make more.

The poetics of pop culture opens a space for the fantasy of the image.

The epistemology of praxis asks to be read as the ideology of agency.

LOL Ewan ko. Labo grabe. Hindi ko gets! Pero you can use it ha just to annoy people. Imagine yourself saying something like these to someone ala-Miriam Defensor. Mas maganda talaga kung ala-Miriam para kunwari super smart.

More likely, after you say this, they will just stare and maybe throw something at you. HAHAHAHAHA But still you can swear that you're saying the truth and that you're willing to jump off an airplane to prove it.

So if you don't have enough BS in your life, try the BS Generator. Enjoy!

The Scribbler

Yay! This is one fun online toy! Just draw whatever and then let The Scribbler do the rest.

Try it here: http://www.zefrank.com/scribbler/

Here's one more. If you're asking why I keep on drawing hearts, it's not because I'm in love or something. It's just that it's easier to draw hearts, than say STARS. LOL Circles are boring and so are squares. Stars are way to complicated. And please let's forget about octagons and pentagons.


There are other cool toys in zefrank.com. So if you're bored, you know where to go!

Christmas Frenzy Part I

Shopped for Christmas gifts with my brother earlier before going to work! Ang gastos!!! I was only able to buy gifts for 4 people and guess what, I already spent a few hundred bucks. I'll be so broke. Boxing day pa!

There were no lines. Shopping here isn't really a bad experience. Even on boxing days, it's usually not crazy. Well, at least, the stores that I go to are usually not busy. Shopping this morning is only stressful because I spent so much. Hahahahahaha! I get carried away when shopping.

When I got home (after working for 8 freakin' hours!), I wrapped the gifts. When I say "wrapping" I meant putting the gifts in paperbags and writing on the tags. HAHAHA I bought Christmas-y paperbags at the Dollar Store before we went to the mall but I also bought wrappers from Carlton Cards. I insisted on using bags but my brother wants some gifts to be actually wrapped but ask him who he expects to wrap them and he will say it's me. Hay nako talaga. Anyway, some of the gifts are from me and some are from my brother. So everyone in the family is getting two gifts from us kids. If you're going to ask about my sister... HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The gifts are at the living room now, lined-up on the bench. HAHAHA! They won't really fit under the tree for the bags are huge! I'll post a picture later.

More shopping really soon. ARGH! More gastos!!!

Hospital

I don't know but being surrounded by people in the health industry is interesting. Even med students, I just feel a certain awe for them. I always feel this way whenever I go to this part of the university. There's something with it - I mean, seeing them and observing them - that amazes me. It's not intimidating. It's more of me being curious about them.

The idea of working in a hospital seems attractive.

Just so you know

“If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.”

Quote: http://watchasifall.tumblr.com
Image: http://thelovelybones.tumblr.com/post/274477119

This is beautiful

"I do not care what car you drive. Where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this year’s cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-list B-list or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind."

-- A Beautiful Revolution

The Stress that is Christmas

Here we go again with the commercialized Christmas we all love and hate. My brother is on a roll! Holy! He's almost done with his Christmas shopping. And if you think he's giving away blah gifts this year, well, he's not. His gifts are fab! While me...I haven't even started shopping!

Since I haven't done anything today (I was supposed to go to the library and write and paper but I got lazy. I was also supposed to go to the bank to set up a new account but again I got lazy.), I decided to look for gifts online. I'm sooo not good at it. I need to practice this online shopping thing. I managed to find a few stuff. I think I got about 7 people covered but I have to shop for a bunch more. I'm trying to find a site where I could buy ALL the gifts I need pero it seems to be impossible. What I'm doing is that, I try to buy a number from a store hindi yung isa-isa lang.

O-M-G. This Christmas thing is really stressful not to mention magastos ha.

I really should list all the people I will give gifts to and indicate what I will give them. Hay nako. STRESS. This is hard as final exams!!!

Via: The Sartorialist

I wish I could dress like her EVERY FREAKIN' DAY of my life. Well, of course, the weather here will not permit me. 6 months of winter, HELLO. But yeah, I would like to live in a place where I can dress like this FOREVER. Light weight dress, sandals, minimal accessories...AHHH LOVE!

WTF?!? I don't have a Fashion tag here, I just realized. Where am I putting my entries about it?

Watchusay?

All I know is that right now, I'm smiling. Screw rationality.

Weird things

Every time it seems you're catching my eye, I avoid you.
But then I see. I see all the beautiful things in you and then moving away does not make sense.
You move me up to the magical realms of your eyes and your magnificent smile.
Only when I come back to reality do I realize that this
This enchantment is imaginary.

Nothing is real.

This universe will not conspire for you and me.

LIKE! 1 Million times!

How come the only way to know how high you get me is to see how far I fall? - J.M.

I just know

3 down

I'm done with my Anthropology exam!!! Ohmygahd!!!

Last night I was getting frustrated already because I had to read 4 chapters in one night. I was also skipping that class because I had to write requirements for my seminars so I really had to read. It was already 9PM and I was only on the 2nd chapter. And you know me, when I get frustrated I just don't want to do anything. I'll stop and do something totally irrelevant to the thing I should do just to get away, distract myself and forget. So last night, I was just chatting away - talking to Pat, Alvir, and Marylin. Alternating between Plurk and Facebook and some Tumblr. My sister had the PBB livestream on so I was kind of listening/watching too. I told myself I'm just gonna go to school early. And so I set my phone to alarm at 5.

And so the alarm went off at 5 but I woke up at 6.40 something. HOLY SH*T. I thought I was just asleep for 5 minutes! I left the house at 8.30 so I had about 2 and a half hours to go through everything after the one hour bus ride.

But due to divine intervention, I got to answer ALL the questions. HALLELUJAH.

It feels like the world is so much lighter now. Well, of course it's not over yet. I still have to finish 2 papers but still... THIS IS BETTER!

Snow White bites

I WANT THIS!!!
Do you know where can I buy this really, really cute sticker for my really cool Pro?

Quotes that I found/liked recently

“Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life—love should not be one of them.”

“I like the kissing and the crying, i like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, i like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.”

"We are not all teenage infatuated girls with a false sense of true love. I have loved greatly, and lost greatly. A victim of a one sided affair."

"Never feel sad about love. Rather, it should make you wonder.. that if you were once happy with a wrong one, how much more when the right one comes?"

"If you define success only by "not losing", you will be in an eternal state of mediocrity." (This one inspired by Covington. LOL)

Umasa ka pa

HEY SELF: Umasa ka namang papagbigyan ka uli ni Mother. She's a bitch, ya know.



BUT PLEASE MOTHER!!! Sige naaa!

So far...

And so...

The presentation: I screwed up the first half. That's what you get when you don't practice and when the speech is made by someone else. HAHAHA But whatevs. I'm just glad it's over.

The Soc Cog exam: I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO TOOK THE EXAM. Hahaha! I discussed it with Allison, the TA for our class. And I decided that what-the-hell JUST WRITE IT. I won't lose anything anyway besides the anxiety I will be getting with the what-if-I-took-the-exam shit.

The Thesis Proposal: I finished it last night. Printed it. Walked to Chancellor's to submit it at around noon. It looks like a thesis proposal. I hope it sounds like one too. LOL

Now it's Anthropology time. I'm not done with the paper. More likely I'll hand it in on Monday or tomorrow afternoon if I got lucky and get to finish it before 4.30. I already started reading for the exam too.

Anyway, I'll catch some sleep now. I have been sleep deprived for daysss already. Gotta have that rest.

***

A stupid thing is making me smile like crazy.
SHIT. Stupidest...well maybe not. But still stupid.
Please, Mother Nature, don't tempt me if you're not gonna give it to me talaga.

AWAKE

I barely slept. Less than 3 hours maybe of "sleep" and here I am finishing my thesis proposal that should have been done, submitted and checked days ago. Mind you, I still have another paper to write and I still have to study for one exam. ALL THIS WEEK.

Can you say screwed?

Anyway, I'm still here in school. There's no way I can finish this at home so I'm here. Wish me luck. I badly need it.

Volatility

It's near the end but before I get there, I must finish these:

• My thesis manuscript
• Anthro paper, 8-10 pages
• Soc Influence presentation, 30 minutes
• Soc Cognition exam
• Anthro exam
  
• Soc Influence paper, 15-20 pages

So farrrrr, I'm not yet done with any of these. Shit talaga. I'm working on it but I'm so stressed already. I feel like crying.

I am bothered too by the Maguindanao massacre. I'm refusing to read about it until I'm done with all I listed above. I know a few bits about it and I'm already so disturbed. I can't take especially what they did to the women. My heart bleeds for the journalists too.

F*** it. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE HOMELAND? A number of typhoons, Pacquiao's win, Penaflorida's win, then this. Lagi na lang may pang-headline. My sister said that for every good, there is a bad thing happening and it goes the other way around too.

Typhoons -> Everyone came out to help.

Pacquiao's win -> His philandering ways came out.

Penaflorida's win -> Politicians suddenly becoming interested in him. (UTANG NA LOOB, EFREN, wag na wag kang kakabit sa kahit sino sa kanila. PLEASE! Just continue with what you're doing.)

Maguindanao massacre -> I don't know what will come after this but I sure hope that somebody will pay for this REALLY SOON. No to decades-long trials. Utang na loob, Philippine Justice System. For once, WORK!!!

The world is such a mess.

Oh shit. That sounds so emo. Hay nakooo. I just want this term to be over so I can start a new one. I'm just tired that's all and I don't feel like working/studying. With a lot of things happening around me, I feel like those are the last things I have to do right now. There's so much more but I can't do anything but work and study 'cause that's what I'm supposed to do.

As for personal stuff, HKs have been hanging out recently despite the busy schedules. I love talking to those girls!!! I LOVE HKs MORE THAN ANYONE IN THIS WORLD! No other group understands me better. Call us WEIRD and ABNORMAL. We are like that *bow*. Socorro and I were chatting last night, asking me The Buzz-worthy questions while I was doing the same to Ligaya via Plurk. We slept early as in early in the morning. LOL What eeeelse? A LOT OF THINGS ARE HAPPENING. Holy shit. Let's leave it at that, I guess. But yeah, things are unfolding - good and bad things.

Anywayyy... have to go now. Laterz!

500 Days of sumMEr

McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?

Summer: No.

McKenzie: Why not?

Summer: Because I don’t want one.

McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.

Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?

McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?

Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.

McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Summer: Really?

McKenzie: Nope.

Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–

McKenzie: Break it down!

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!

Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?

[she scoffs]

Tom: What?

Summer: You don’t believe that, do you?

Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.

Source: http://www.500daysofsummerquotes.com/

And Pacquiao won.

First time ko manood uli ng laban ni Pacquiao. Sabi ko nga sa kanila, wag na sila magtaka kung matalo dahil na-jinx ko. HAHAHA! Pero dahil sobrang galing ni Pacman, hindi sya naapektuhan ng pagkamalas ko at nanalo pa rin sya.

Ang gulo-gulo namin juskopo.

- Sigawan tuwing matutumba si Cotto
- Sigawan tuwing makakasuntok si Pacquiao
- Sigawan tuwing mangyayakap si Cotto
- Sigawan ng mga panlalait
- Sigawan nang ipakita ang batukling na anak ni Cotto at ang mukhang retokadang asawa
- Paggaya ni Keith kay Aling Dionesia

Joke namin kagabi, laging mas gwapo yung mga kalaban ni Pacquiao pero at the end of the fight mas gwapo na si Pacman. Motivation nya ata yon! LOL

Salamat sa lahat ng pumunta (Daph, Alvir, Mavic, Keith, Marylin, Raoul, Yves, Tonton, Tristan) at sa mga nagyayang hindi pumunta (ehem, Paul at Jack). Hanggang sa susunod uli na laban! YAY!

Music's the reason why I know time still exists

Pretty!

Hey Self, why are you smiling?

Okay. I HAVE A PERMANENT SMILE ON MY FACE TODAY. Well, okay, semi-permanent. The heck. What's to be happy about? Or I guess the correct question is, "What's wrong?" LOL

All I can say is, today I CAN FINALLY SEE IT. I SEE IT. I'm not blind anymore. And now I understand.

OMG!



Edit: Tangenang mga litrato. Naka-smile lang ako ngayon dahil sa mga yan.

Brilliant! Just brilliant!

How do you get people to use the stairs instead of the escalator?

How do you get people to throw their garbage inside the bin?

Honesty Kills!

Okay. I'm laughing at myself right now for various reasons. I can't pinpoint what EXACTLY is the source of this entertainment so let's just say there are lots of reasons nga. HAHAHAHAHA Tangena. Minsan magulo talaga ako.

Okay. Fine. Madalas magulo ako. Ohmygahd I'm going crazy already. What am I even saying here? HAHAHA

I want to organize my thoughts BUT I'm afraid that if I do it will be tangible. Okay, not tangible-tangible 'cause, yeah, online = not tangible. What I mean is it will make it so real. You know putting thoughts into words can be compared to putting water in the fridge. Like H2O, it will expand and solidify. TANGIBLE. REAL. UNDENIABLE... and CONSISTENT. (This is what you learn in psychology, yo!) And that's not something that I want right now. I just want thoughts to flow and drift away.

HAHAHAHAHA What the eff?!?! I sound so serious.

Crap. I need to sleep through this.

***

And Cristina Yang, YOU ARE SO ME AND I AM SO YOU. We rock! We totally rock!

Just a shot, please?

Whatever aspect of life may that be, I just I hate it when I can't give a shot at something because I'm technically not allowed to, when circumstances prevent me.

ARGHHHH. Hate it! Destiny, please??? Just a chance. I promise I won't screw it up. I promise I won't waste it. Just let me!!!

Please, please! Pretty please!

Heroin

I can stare at you all day, everyday. Like... REALLY STARE AT YOU 24/7 and never get tired of your face. Ohmygahd.

I've got my friends. I'm more than OK

I love them. I love, love, love THE CORRS. Oh my. This for our Emo Thursday. Ang nag-iisang araw na pwedeng magdrama ang mga tao. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Some of us can be really ma-drama so we needed some kind of regulation. And emo-ing is more fun now. If that even makes sense. HAHAHAHA

Nothing is impossible, yo!

There is a way.
There is ALWAYS a way.

WHY NOW???

When I compare myself to my Psyc classmates, I feel that I'm lagging behind. When we talk they've already finished this and that; They've volunteered in this lab and that; They are interested in this research field and hopes to do this someday.

And I...

I just don't see myself as a psychologist. I enjoy it, don't get me wrong. But going the extra mile, committing myself to it is... no. I can't do it. I can't tie myself to the field. I like it but I don't love it. Research is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. It's not me.

Now my degree requires all of me and I can't. I can't do just that. I can't be ALL ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY.

It's so foreign from the things I love. Far from culture, far from stylistic writing, far from art, far from fashion, far from politics,...

It's funny that I realized it just now in my fourth year. Maybe because it's only now that I get to see how it is really like in the academe.

Earlier we have a guest speaker in class. He's an MLA and went to talk about social influence and politics. And I was sooo there, I asked questions, I have lots of questions and I was REALLY interested. Too bad there wasn't enough time so I got to ask him only one. It feels so different. Present a psychological experiment to me and I... won't ask any question. It interests me but it doesn't interest me enough.

I know. I should've taken Political Studies.


Shit. Did I just type that?

Lady Gaga x Hello Kitty

It's the 35th birthday of our dearest cat and the Lady is celebrating with her! I'm excited about this 'cause two of my loves are together.

I just have to post something

I don't want to think about my exam last Thursday but somehow it makes it way into consciousness. I'm scared of it! I'm sooo scared of that course! Out of all my classes this term, that one is the biggest source of PRESSURE and FEAR. Shit. Really...shit.

My desk at the library. 2nd date with Julian and Bernard.

I've been studying nonstop. There is no day where I did nothing related to school. Everyday is school-day. Even my weekend will be spent studying. I HAVE TO. It's my Anthro exam on Monday and I haven't read a thing.

I've also been writing the Methods outline. I'm still not done with it. There are some details that I'm not sure about... ARGH. I have to sent it though before Monday to my advisor.

THE POSITIVE SIDE... I'm not cramming as much. I still go out once in a while. I still talk to some friends. I'm still active in other activities.

Everything's cool so far. :)

***

Got this from kaththecrapout.tumblr.com
Not sure though if this is hers talaga. Lotsa cute stuff over there.
Check it out!

Date with Julian and Bernard

I'm still at the library... reading/studying. I've been here since 1PM and it's already 6.36PM. Wow. My brain is fried.

By the way, I missed my class earlier. THE FIRST EVER CLASS THAT I MISSED THIS TERM!!! I feel bad about it. I know... weird, eh? I'm so used to skipping and now I feel bad for missing a class. I didn't even skip! I missed it because of some unforeseen circumstance. Bagong buhay? Hahaha!

Eff! I can't type properly. I cut my finger yesterday at work. I thought it was OK already so I took the Band-Aid off but the hell, I'm still BLEEDING LOVE. LOL. I don't know why it takes forever for it to heal by itself. It's not a bad, bad cut.

So anyway, back to studying. My dates are waiting.

Thesis Writing Ep. 1

Nababaliw na sa dami ng research articles.
Nababaliw na sa jargon.
Nababaliw na.

Nababaliw na......... SA'YO.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Holy crap. This is how stressed I am right now. Wait. Scratch that. I'm not stressed. My brain just refuse to focus on my thesis introduction outline. I'm sooo elsewhere. You know when you have lots to do and you feel helpless, you ended up not wanting to do anything, which is bad, I know. But I have long accepted the fact that my being human includes being tired and irresponsible. I've already mastered that sentence and I will hold on to that. LOL

Anyway, I have to go back and write this outline before I get really screwed up. I also have TWO big exams coming up so I have to straighten up and be responsible.

Byers for now.

I will find a way to you, if it kills me

Hello, tell me you know, yeah, that you figured me out. Something gave it away.

Balance after 3 years

I got a so-so grade in my English provincials. Happened about 3 years ago. The moment I saw what the topic will be, I already know... it ain't gonna be fun.

BALANCE.

When I read it, I thought, what the f*ck am I gonna right about balance? First of all, balance of what? The physical aspect? The science behind it? Or an application to an abstract like, say, priorities?

So yeah, I bombed it.

Well, not really. But it was enough to pull my English grade down some points.

I have always struggled with balance. I multi-task but the quality of work suffers. Juggling stuff is not one of my strengths. Last year, I just gave up and got contented with mediocre results. Exhaustion took over. And I thought I will never learn.

This term, I have been trying to balance it all out. I am 22 years old, I have more things stressful ahead of me and I can't just be burnt out by a year of statistics and tons of writing. I knew I had to make a move and do something.

So far, I think, I'm doing a good job. I get things done early,I get to see my friends and go out (more groups of friends, by the way), I work, I volunteer (UM-Sigaw plus UNICEF), I attend seminars, (Went to the Intro to Law! Yay!), I'm socially active and aware, I've met a lot of new people... Lots of branching out and opening up to the world. I'm loving it. I think, finally, I'm learning...some.

There's one more thing though, that I have to learn to do with all these. Without it, I know, I won't fully learn about this thing called BALANCE. I have to have it with all these to understand it wholly and learn what the word means. But I guess, I have to take it one step at a time. For now, I just have to be consistent.

AJA! :)

I can see the sun

I have always been open about the one thing I'm so passionate about. The thing that I think I will be doing for the rest of my life, that will be bring me happiness and self-actualization. (Hello, Maslow!)

I've always wanted to teach kids how to read, to teach and show them the joys of reading. I want them to discover the magic of books, the charm of words, and the endless possibilities of reading. I wanted to build libraries for kids. Give them storybooks, read to them, and teach them.

And finally guys, I think, it's gonna happen. Sooner than I expected.
Look at these cute kids?

I really hope this pushes through.

Images from http://nbsfoundation.multiply.com

So proud of Winnipeg!!!

U of M students ROCK!!! We were able to raise more than a thousand dollars and we're able to collect boxes of clothes for the Ondoy/Ketsana flood victims.

Heard Hot 103 and Filipino Journal were able to raise around $10,000 in a span of FOUR HOURS!

SO PROUD OF WINNIPEG!!!

Thank you everyone!!!!

Donations

I still don't know what to donate for the Ketsana/Ondoy flood victims. Actually, I already knew but 2 hours ago, a friend told me that PCCM is already telling everyone to give monetary donations instead of clothes, canned goods, etc. 'cause it will be harder to send them and they are already piling up at the centre.

SO, I DON'T KNOW NOW. Malamang pera na nga lang.

But shit, what I actually want to do now is help the schools that were destroyed. I just saw them on TFC and poor kids have no books now and computers. All were swept away by the flood. So I'm thinking...

Heard that a lot of bayans in Laguna are still flooded. I don't really know what to do now. It's sooo hard to be here. Mahirap kasi tumulong nang hindi mo alam kung ano ba talaga ang situation or kung ano ba talaga ang kailangan. Kasi if you want to help talaga, you have to give what they need. Otherwise, tumulong ka pa diba?

Controversial Covers

Saw this at Jessica Zafra's blog. It is included in the Most Controversial Magazine Covers of All Time by the webdesignerdepot.

I like this one the best. Very New York.

The original post can be found here.

Ondoy Flood

Ohmygahd. I can't get over the Ondoy flood. My brother said wala na daw akong sinabi all day kung hindi yung baha. HAHA. Eh pano naman kasi I don't think there was a flood worse than this in recent Filipino history. Even the places na usually hindi binabaha, binaha talaga. POOR PINAS. I read that there were at least 40 people dead already. 35 were from Rizal. They said they are mostly children who drowned. It's sooo sad.

Cristine Reyes, the actress, stranded on the roof of her house. Drenched and frozen.
These cars!!! OMG.

And the underpass!!! OMG. Swimming pool?

Pictures from ondoy.tumblr.com

Flooded

I woke up today at around 6.30 and logged in. I was shocked to find out that the whole Metro Manila is flooded. Apparently, Le Mesa dam was opened to prevent it to overflow so all the water went straight to Marikina and all the nearby cities.


Twitter and Facebook are crazy-full of updates. Got all of my news from there. Lots of people were stranded, had to brave the flood, some people are missing, and some were killed.

A really sad time in the Philippines right now. I just hope stupid politicians won't use this to campaign. Sana masama na lang sila baha if they do. Sumama sila sa bagyo na umalis ng bansa.

Anyway, the parents called my tito and asked how it is in Laguna. There was flood but luckily it didn't reach our house. So everything's good in that area.

In this side of the world, IT'S SUNNY. But I won't go out. I'll just stay at home and read for my thesis. I really have to get my priorities straight. THIS IS IT. If I screw this up, WALA NA. I have to really give all the effort that I can. Other issues that are floating in my mind can now go away. No space for them now. I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE about other things. I plan to be more socially active now. I and Lem joined UNICEF the other day and I'm planning to be active. Yesterday, I met the other person who we will be working with on the Shame study. It has only been two weeks in school and I've already met lots of people.

Really, the world is opening up itself for me. I can't just sit here and not do anything.

(Image from: http://www.quezon.ph/2009/09/26/how-to-help/)

Thank You's

And so my birthday is nearly over. LOL In case you didn't know, I don't really celebrate my birthday. September is usually a busy month and every year, celebrating is always the last thing on my mind. Before I know it, birthday ko na pala and I haven't planned a thing. So like any other birthdays, parang ordinary day lang to. The only difference is that I get hundreds of notifications from Facebook. Haha!

But of course, I still have to thank everyone.

I want to thank YOU for the birthday greetings. Can't name everyone coz that will be tedious but you know who you are.

Thank you Maesie for the cute Hello Kitty coffee traveller's mug.

Thank you, Flaminiano, for the card and the early morning birthday greeting that woke me up. Hahaha!

Thank you, Daphne for dropping by (and Paul na rin) and for the birthday card and the gift. Even if I didn't see you kasi I was still taking a bath that time. Haha!

Thank you sa mga Brokebacks and sa HKs. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Mga leche kayong mga bakla kayo. HAHAHAHAHA!

Thank you sa aking ama at ina para sa dinner kanina. Haha!


Thank you kay God kasi nag-birthday uli ako. Hehe! Salamat dahil may pinarating Syang message kanina at alam kong para sa akin talaga yon.

Happy Birthday to meeee!

I have no plans as usual.

I don't really care. I hate thinking about what to do on this day. Especially that Septembers are usually busy for me. Anyway,

I received the greatest gift I can receive for this year....



A THESIS ADVISOR.

I'm gonna meet up with her on Monday at 9AM. So it is a HAPPY birthday. Yeeeha!


I will make another post later to thank everyone.

First Day of Fall

And so I started Fall with two 4000 level classes. I'm telling you, it's a different world out there. LOL. It's ALL PSYCHOLOGY. It seems far and foreign from the world that I know. I don't really know what to expect and I also don't know how I will perform. I'm just gonna take it day by day, I guess.

Right now, I have one major problem. I still don't have a thesis advisor.

Summer 09

Summer 09 is over.

This summer I registered for 4 courses: dropped 1 because it sucks, finished 2, and dropped the last one because exhaustion took a toll on me.

This summer I began to read again and watch movies for pleasure's sake. Good thing I took the last month off 'cause I was able to relax and let myself learn from other things other than text books.

This summer I learned to breathe. I slept in and there were days that I do nothing significant and I never felt anxious. It felt like the good ol' days.

This summer things that are long overdue finally happened. It was exactly what I expected. It is exactly how I wanted it to be.

This summer made me realize that dreams are possible. It sounds cheesy but it is true. God gives chances and it's up to us what we would make of them.

This summer is hopefully my last summer as an undergrad. :)

Orientationz!

Just got home from the U1 orientation. Supposedly, I was only going to pay tuition and buy books but I saw friends and I ended up staying longer.

Books: SUPRISINGLY, I SPENT LESS THAN $200. First time in my 4 years.

I also helped Arianne take pictures. She was taking pictures for UMSU, documenting all the events for Orientation Week. Saw a LOT of friends.

I wanted to stay but I have work so I'm home and now I have to leave in 30 minutes. LOL

Gotta keep going. Laterz.

Askinosie Chocolate: Davao Dark Chocolate

Oh wow.

I was bored so I decided to tempt myself and browse Daily Candy.

One article caught my eye cause it says CHOCOLATE. So I opened it, read it, and opened the company's website and I found this.

I didn't know that Davao has good cocoa beans let alone that they export them. I really had no idea so I was thrilled when I saw it. And apparently, it's been getting some good response from people.

Askinosie is a US-based company that make chocolate from the beans. Well, okay, I don't really know much about the chocolate making process but based on what I read the company "...practice direct trade, paying farmers above fair trade prices for cocoa beans and giving them A Stake in the Outcome by profit sharing with them." (Wikipedia) You can even trace the specific chocolate bar that you bought by entering the Choc-o-lot number stamped on the wrapper and you'll be able to know when and it was made and how.

The company also helps kids and helped fund a computer lab for them.

Each bar is $8. Not cheap but if it's gonna help farmers, why not? The wrapper is soooo cool too! I wanna try it. I LOVE dark chocolate. Actually, that's the only type of chocolate I eat. I hope I can buy some SOON.

https://www.askinosie.com/default.aspx