Monday, December 29, 2008

This vicious cycle

I'm at it again. Not healthy. AT ALL.
But can't help it.

Right now, I just want to get away.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Pwedeng bakasyon na?

Tinatamad na ko. As in major. Tinatamad. Ayoko na.

But come to think of it, my schedule will still be packed after the 15th. Yun nga lang walang studying. One lakad after another. Kamusta naman.

Pero parang tanga.
Narealize ko kahapon na namiss ko ang school e parang 2 days lang ako di nagpunta don.
Ang sarap mag-aral sa lib yun nga lang nauubos pera ko sa Starbucks.
Stayed there from around 12 until 8pm.

Okay. Paper time. ULI.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

That was quick

Got TWO finals grades today. E parang nung Monday lang kami nagexam sa stats tapos may final grade na agad sa Aurora. Di naman masyadong excited magbakasyon si Randy. Hahaha!

So ayon. Ayos lang. Di ko naman ineexpect na maka-A ako sa lecheng stats. At least walang "C" sa transcript ko. Ayos na!!! Wahahaha!

Nakuha ko din yung ineexpect kong grade sa Personality. Nakakatawa, kung kelan last exam na, tsaka tumaas yung exam grade ko. Kung sana ganon na lang nung first 3 exams. Dapat siguro nakikita ko sya before every exam. LOL.

Soooo.... dalawa pa. Sa 15! Exam at paper!

RP

What if

.....

Ay bat ko ba naisip yon.

Erase. Erase.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

???

Why do you have to be so damn perfect?
You can't be.
You just can't.
I can't let that.
Hahahaha!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Nothing works like you

Sooo out of the blue. Suddenly I'm posting something here.

Just finished watching THE favorite movie. If you know me, you know I watch the movie when
a) I have nothing to do.
b) I'm super stressed out.

And yes. Letter B is the reason.

I've said this a million times already. I JUST WANT THIS TERM TO BE OVER.
Stats is killing me. School IS killing me.

I haven't had an 8-hour sleep for... I don't know since when. Caffeine is my best friend for these past few days coz if I don't take a venti a day, I, for sure, will be in lalaland in a snap. And really, even though I'm so tired, the last thing on my list now is sleep. I'm thisclose to getting crazy. Every minute I think of strategies on how to do this and that, fit everything into my schedule, etc., etc.

Soooo... I figured I have to have a break. Just take it easy tonight. After all, today is a good day. A nice, happy day. If only all days are like this. Haha!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

U

I ache for your perfection.
I long to touch your elusive humanness,
that seems to dance...

***
The insatiable desire to trace your face with my fingertips
grips every breath...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I'm coming home

2009? 2010?

Wake-up calls

Got it!

I know I have been slacking and procrastinating since school started.
I know I'm not studying as much as I usually do before exams.
I know I am constantly cramming. (E.g. Finishing assignments and papers before classes start)
I know I have been skipping a number of times already.

I got it.

***

Got it!

I know I have been spending a lot.
I know I have been buying things I don't actually need.
I know I'm not following my plan.
I know I'm being irresponsible.

I got it!

***

Got it!

I know I have to stop doing these.

Monday, October 6, 2008

:)

Akala mo hindi ko nakita yon? Haha! Pwes nagkakamali ka!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Can you teach me how?

Na-amaze ako dun sa mga tao na ang dami-daming ginagawa tapos super galing pa nila dun sa mga ginagawa nila. Sana ako rin. The thing is pag sobrang dami ko nang ginagawa it's either nagiging mediocre na lahat ng trabaho ko OR may napapabayaan akong isa o dalawang bagay na madalas e yung health ko at yung mga relationships ko sa mga tao.

Ang dami ko pa namang gustong gawin.

Sana matuto na ko magbalanse. Sanaaa...

Kasi ngayon madami akong ginagawa...

...pero feeling ko wala akong silbi. :(

Gusto ko sana magvolunteer sa isang organization.
Gusto ko sana isa dito tapos isa sa Pilipinas.
Alam ko na kung saan ko gusto pero hindi pa ko nagaapply kasi ayokong magcommit tapos di ko mapapanindigan. Kailangan ko munang siguraduhin na kaya ng schedule ko.

Sana, sana matuto na ko magbalanse.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Raket II

Nagwork kami sa Wowowee kanina ni Lem. Ayon, nakapanood kami for free. Actually si Pops Fernandez at Charice Pempengco lang ang pinanood namin ng personal. Ang galing ni Pops magpabuhay ng crowd at ang zexay nya!!! Ha-ha-ha! Inggit si Mama sa akin! Wahahaha! Favorite nya kasi yun. Si Charice naman, parang lumiit ang MTS sa kanya. Her voice IS SOOO POWERFUL at ang liit nya ha. Hindi ko alam kung san nanggagaling yung boses nya. She sang Listen, Because You Loved Me, and Ikaw ang Lahat sa Akin. Sobrang galing. Syempre standing ovation. Mabuhay ang mga taga-SPL. Wahahaha!

So ayon. Ngayon back to reality na ko. Aral na. Shit. Parang wala pa ngang nangyayari sa pag-aaral ko sa stats. Goodluck sa akin.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Pagod na

Pagod na.
Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Infairness, ang galing ko pa rin magdala. Haha!
Nakakatawa pa rin ako at nangti-trip.

Nakakapagod ang ibang mga bagay pero hindi kailangang maging hadlang yun para maging masaya. Yesss! Lalim! Hahahaha! Kala mo naman totoo.

Ayoko nga ring isipin na napapagod ako.
Go lang ng go!
At least may ginagawa.
At least nalilibang pa rin.


Aja!

This could wake you up

"Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness."

-- The Architect, Matrix Reloaded

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

Midnight snack

Just thinking about my schedule makes me feel exhausted. Work IS piling up and here I am procrastinating again.

It's my birthday. E ano naman. Haha! Wala lang. Since I came here, I was never really eager to celebrate. I was always busy on that particular date so I don't really have the time and energy to plan out something or at least spontaneously go out.

Oh well. Just another day.

Now, I have to sleep. Work and school later. Without breaks.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Nakakaleche

Nakakatamad gumawa ng kahit anong may saysay.
Basta. Ewan.
Ang gulo ng mundo ko.

*&^%&%$%$&

Friday, September 5, 2008

I said it will be a crazy September...

I never though it would be this crazy. Highlight reactions from the last two days...

Day One: "What the fuck?!"
Day Two: "Oh Shit!"

There's too much going on.

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Bachelor

Something inside has changed. And the change came as a surprise.

Grabe. Marami na kong nabasang reviews sa A Very Special Love so I was expecting na hindi ako gaanong matutuwa sa kanya pero OMG... sobrang tawang-tawa at kilig-kilig lang ako the whole time I was watching. At nakangiti lang talaga ko pagkatapos kong manood. Ha-ha-ha!

Ang gwapo ni JLC at ang cute-cute ni Sarah. Napakatypical na rom-com pero aliw na aliw ako. I don't know kung dahil ba sa atake or sa actors mismo. Basta ang saya nya panoorin. Wala nga ring major kilig moves si Miggy kay Leida bukod dun sa ginawa nya nung patapos na pero nakakakilig yung mga small gestures. As in!!! Ha-ha-ha! At nasabi ko na bang ang gwapo ni JLC?

Basta. Aliw. Haha! Sundance tayo!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Resolutions

1) No to bottled water

Aside from the fact that clean drinking water should be a right and not a privilege, bottled water adds up to the pollution. After reading about the ever growing consumerism and all that, I've decided to stop buying bottled water for the environment and for humanity. Hehe. Actually, the suggestion is to drink tap but I really can't stomach even just the thought of it sooo yeah I'll just minimize my purified water consumption. So no more plastic bottles. I'll start bringing my own water bottle. :)

You know what, I should also give up my daily caffeine fix *coughStarbuckscough* but I think I will need more will power to do that. Haha!

2) Consistency!

I lack consistency. I'd get high grades on one exam and then the next would be a total disaster. Better work on that.

3) Less tambay time. Be more productive.

Yun na. I'm still gonna work during the fall sooo I should use my time wisely.

4) Don't ask for plastic bags when shopping

You see, I work at a retail store and the amount of plastic we just throw out makes me guilty. I always feel like I'm hurting the Earth everytime I dispose plastic bags.

5) Matuto magtipid.

I need to know how to save money. SERIOUSLY. I promised myself I would really work hard on this one.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Felt like myself again

Funny how $10 can make you feel yourself again.

I missed this.

A lot.

***

I'm crazy for saying, err, typing (Baka sitahin mo na naman ako dito. Haha!) this but I miss you. Seriously. I wish I can blame it on hormones but I can't so I guess I just have to admit it.

I miss you.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Uhh Okay???

May problema talaga ko sa pagtanda sa mga mukha at pangalan. Nalilito na naman ako. Sign ba to ng early dementia o selective lang din ang memory ko parang kay Charrie? Wahahaha!

There's this person na nag-add sa akin sa isang networking site na hindi ko matandaan tapos after a day or two, naalala ko kung san ko sya nakilala. And then just recently, I saw a picture of the person. Tapos bigla kong naalala dun sa picture na yun (Wag na tanungin kung pano! Hahaha! Nakakaloka lang.) na nakikita ko naman pala sya around the city though kahit kelan di ko naisip na nakilala ko na pala sya.

Wahaha! Grabe kaya wag na kayo magtaka kung kahit nakilala ko na kayo tapos di ko pa rin kayo binabati kasi mas madalas, nakakalimutan ko talaga. Unless ikaw si 1230. Sadya talaga yun. Wahahahahaha!!! JK!

Weird lang din, kilala pala nya ko pero di rin naman sya namamansin tapos inadd ako. Haha! Ano ba yun? Hahaha!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Lemonade

He's in Engineering...

...and that aviator sunglasses,

plus the leather messenger bag...,



PLUS POINTSSS!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Stress relief

I was talking to Arianne minutes ago how I don't like that I have little control over my pictures on Facebook. I don't know. Privacy is really important to me. The thought of someone else being able to see my profile and all that is uncomfortable. As much as possible, I don't link my accounts. I even hate the fact that if you google my name, this blog would appear. Ang praning pero ganun.

***

I still have one and half chapters to finish. May trabaho dapat ako bukas pero nakipagpalit na ko ng shift kasi alam kong hindi ko nga to matatapos ngayon. Grabe information overload. Soooobrang daming kailangang tandaan. The thing is 'recognition' and 'familiarity' doesn't work in our exams, meaning I really have to 'know everything' to do good.

***

Okay, I have to sleep now.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

You're the traffic in my head

This is the third time this week
That I find myself wandering down your street
And I can't seem to give it up.
And I've even stopped making these excuses
For why you're stuck here in my thoughts
When it's been long enough.
And I try to keep myself moving,
But I'm not going anywhere.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Yes, I'm trying to free myself from stress

I love my Abnormal psyc prof. Grabe sobrang bait nya. Haha!

So... I only have Exam 3 left. Dapat nag-aaral na nga ako ngayon e kaso sobrang pagod ako dahil wala pa kong masyadong tulog dahil sa paper and then nagwork pa ko kanina.

Birthday ni Charrie kanina. Hindi pa kaya ng powers namin si Shortcake so iba na lang ang hinanda namin. Haha! Nagdala si Lem ng strawberry cheesecake. Strawberry shortcake sana dahil sa alaala ni Shortcake pero walang makita si Lem so cheesecake na lang. Nagdala akong balloons. Ayun, dahil dun, parang alam na ng buong UM na birthday ni Charrie kanina. Hahaha!

Hindi ko na nakakasabay si Lemon! Nakikita ko pa rin sya sa school pero hindi ko na sya nakakasabay pagpasok. Sadness. Sya na nga lang ang nagpapaganda ng downtown e, nawala pa! Natakot ako nung Wednesday kasi may matanda dun sa bus stop. Gamit ang aking peripheral vision, nakita ko na nakatitig lang sya sa akin. OMG. As in. Tapos ayun maya-maya lumapit na sya at kinausap ako. E exam day ko nun so nagbabasa ako and I was like really ignoring him, showing him that I don't want to talk pero nakatitig lang sya sa akin. Katakot!!! Shit lang. Hindi pa dun natatapos ang lahat kasi habang kinakausap nya ko, may nilabas sya sa bag nya na white na lalagyan tapos may mga dried leaves. I was like, "Teka marijuana ba yun?". Ayun lalo lang akong natakot. Umalis din sya nung nagsawa na siguro mageffort kausapin ako pero tingin pa rin sya ng tingin. The next day, andun uli sya. Buti na lang late dumating yung bus na supposedly earlier sa usually na sinasakyan ko. Kahit alam kong di ko makakasabay si Lemon, go na. Jusko mas mahal ko ang sarili ko. Buti kanina, wala yung matanda.

Ngayon, inaantok na ko. Mukhang di na ko makakaaral talaga. Bukas na lang, promise.

Hindi bagay na codename kay Lemon and Lemon. Yung itsurang yun...haha! Pero wala kong maisip na iba so okay na yun.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

trying, trying, TRYING!

Oo. May paper akong ginagawa ngayon pero kailangan ko magbreak muna. Nababaliw na ko.
2 pages pa rin ako. Kamusta naman? Wala na 'tong tulugan.

I need a dose of Lemon.

Lemon.
Lemon.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Chase

I heard the cries,
I know of their existence.
But somehow,
grief fades into the oceans.

I can't feel anything.

The distance seems to swallow the pain.
The worries, stranded.
No drops are falling from these pools of blackness now.

It's all strange.

Unreal to the new pages of the book I'm writing,
Too real to the tattered one I keep.
It floats like an island, hiding.
Waiting to be found,
accepted,
defined.

Ominous puffs of black and white.
Dark rivers seem to flow steadily on the other side.
I shiver but then, I saw you,
the light is back on your face,
the old storm seemed to clear away.

"It is time", you said. "Go on. I'll be ahead."
"The chase with the sun never ends."

***
I hope you are resting well, Ate Nene. I know you're enjoying heaven now.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I'm taking a break 'coz I can

And the 7th thing I hate most about you,
you make me love you

My brain is sooo tired I need a break. I still have 3 chapters to read and a paper to write and I really, really don't feel like studying right now. Pwedeng idle time na lang muna?

Oo. Katamaran ito.

Kasi naman e...

Umm...wala pala akong excuse. Hahaha!
Basta tinatamad lang talaga ako ngayon.
Yun na.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Greyhound

I have been following the news about the Greyhound bus killing for days now. If you are from here, you know how much of an impact it is to the city. The gruesome murder is the talk of the town. Who would have thought something like that would happen in Manitoba? And to a Winnipeger? Tim Mclean is so young and he doesn't deserve to die like that. No one does.

It is sad, frightening, and disturbing.

But I think what makes it sadder is that some people are looking at the issue of immigration rather than the real problem. The suspect is an Asian immigrant. But, really, so what? It has nothing to do with what he did. His race shouldn't even be part of the news at all but, yes, it is on every article.

Ugh. World, you need to grow up.

***

The priest last Sunday prayed for Tim Mclean's soul. I nudged my sister and asked her why aren't we praying for the suspect. He needs it too, I think.

Oh well. Maybe even priests do forget that we should pray for everyone even for the 'lost lambs'.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Half-Blood Prince

Waah! May trailer na!!! November na sana!!! Ang 'dark' nung feel nung trailer pero gusto ko!

View the trailer here.

Hala. Naka-ilang entry ako ngayong gabi? Hahahaha!

You weren't there

Shit. Sobrang idle time. Hahaha! Pati ito pinatulan.
This is supposed to be a Friendster thing pero ayoko magflood sa Bulletin. Salamat kay Mavic na bored din. Hahaha!

1. Story behind your primary picture? Haha! Ginamit ko dahil kinakailangang itago ng konti ang identity.

2. Do you love chocolates? Umm, yeah. Dark ones.

5. Your current mood in one word? BORED

6. Latest realization? Nakakamiss din pala maging musically-inclined.

7. In love with? Life.

9. Last place you hung out? UC

10. First band/group you liked? Spice Girls!

11.First music video you enjoyed? Stop ng Spice Girls.

12. Favorite lines from a song? Umm, at the moment eto..."You breathe infinity into my world and time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl" tsaka "If you love me, won't you let me know".

13.Word for the day? Tagumpay. Hahaha!

15. Are you missing someone? Ah yeah. Always.

17. What was the last SMS you received about? Haha! Si Lem sabi hot ang prof nya.

19.Usual first impression on you? Hard to please.

20.Favorite tv series? Ngayon, My Girl. Hahaha!

21. Current addiction/passion? The sun and walking

23. Last person you talked to on the phone? Si Paul?

25.Last thing your Dad told you? Tinanong ako kung may pasok si Bruha.

26. Do you still feel your answer in no.5? Uh yeah. Kaya nga nakarating ako sa #26

27. May gumugulo ba sa lovelife mo ngayon? Meron. Hahaha! Issue!

Dakilang Procrastinator

Nakakaaliw ang tagumpay. Hahaha! Una pang nalaman ni Lem. Hahaha! Shit. Aliw talaga.

Per seryoso muna ng konti. Haha!

Tinatamad akong mag-aral ngayon. Tinatamad akong simulan yung paper. Eto sa harap ko yung libro pero...wala. Tinatamad talaga ko. Gusto ko umalis pero wala akong mapuntahan. Gusto ko lang maglakad-lakad kasi maaraw pero para naman akong ewan nun kasi wala nga akong destinasyon. Ang ganda pa naman sa labas. Nakakatamad. Forever.

Argh. Promise magtitino na ko bukas. PROMISE! PROMISE!

Sa ngayon, gusto ko talaga lumabas. :)

Delete uli?



Tagumpay ang kalokohan.
*bow*



Monday, July 28, 2008

Ang URT

So bumili na ko ng planner kanina, The Naked Roommate yung binili ko.

Maraming college survival tips na nakasulat pero eto ata ang pinakauseful. WAHAHAHA!

Definition muna...

Universal Rejection Truth (URT) - No matter how beautiful, talented, or desirable you are, not everyone you want will always want you. Millions will, but millions will not.

1) Come out of denial - in other words, tanggapin ang URT
2) Train - magpaganda/magpagwapo, maging mabait, maging friendly, and the list goes on.
3) Prepare for the risk - Yun na yun!
4) Take the risk - Haha! Uwian na!
5) React, Recoup, Repeat - Gets nyo na yun!

Ayos!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

15

Talked to K after a long, long time. Hay. We should talk more often but the time zones and the numerous activities we engage in keep us from making it possible. I talked to her about things that have been bothering me for a while now and I'm so happy I did. She totally sees them in a different perspective and, I don't know, her views on things just amazes me. There is enough frankness to make me realize things and she keeps everything somehow real. So yeah, after much thought, I've decided to just let it all go. Just keep things flowing and not really minding about what is there and what isn't. She reminded me not to rush and just focus on the brighter side of things.

Thanks, K. Get well!
I missed you and I love, love, love you.
15 years and counting...


Yey!

Congratulations to
my best friend Kathleen,
my best barkada ever, Kristoffer, Angel, and Mae-anne!

Nurses na sila!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Next week August na!

Shit lang ang bilis ng July.

Next week may summer class uli ako. Folklorama na naman. Tapos maghahanda na para sa Fall. Tapos, tapos...

Parang wala ata akong ginawa ngayong July. Wala masyadong work, wala masyadong activities. Ang highlight na ata e ang Dark Knight. Hahahaha! (Oh grabe! Sobrang cool ng movie na yun! Manonood ako uli! Haha!)

Dumaan lang ang 3 buwan ng bakasyon ng hindi ko namamalayan. Parang maraming ginagawa na parang hindi rin naman. Ewan. Basta. Ganun.

Gusto ko na ring pumasok para may rason para gumising ng maaga at lumabas araw-araw. Pag ganito kasing walang pasok, 3AM na ko natutulog, 11AM na ko nagigising at hindi ako productive. Ang sarap ng feeling ng nagigising ng maaga tipong nakikita yung pagsikat ng araw pero masarap din magpuyat, dumaldal, at may sleep-in. Hahaha! So dapat talaga may pasok na ko para maayos ko ang buhay ko.

Gusto ko na ng bagong planner pero I promised myself I won't buy until the end of July. Haha! Ewan. Napaka-symbolic sa akin ng bagong planner. Actually, iniintay ko yung day na bibili na ko kasi marami nang nakaplanong isulat at dun na magsisimula ang... ano pa nga ba? Ang mga plano. So ayun. Weird ba? Hahaha!

Went to school this afternoon. Kinuha nila Panget at Maesie yung ID cards nila. Estudyante na nga sila ng UofM. Nagbayad din ako ng tuition fee for summer. Umikot kami sa campus para makita nila yung mga classrooms nila. Pupunta dapat kami ng Mcdermot pero umaambon so hindi na lang. Dumaan na lang kami ng Superstore. Hahahaha!

So there. See? Wala masyadong happenings. Or so it seems. Haha! JK!

----
Dalawang tao, dalawang beses, dalawang magkasunod na araw.
----

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Deadly Little Thing

Just yesterday, Dar and I were talking about how we hate insects. Business was so slow we practically just talked and talked all night. We both agree that those little things can be really nasty and they seem to enjoy seeing people irritated by their presence. Just imagining what a lot of them look like gives us the creeps. I know, some people will say were mean but before you say anything else read this. I can't believe 5 caterpillars will cause someone so young and healthy to have multiple organ failure. It's scary. And yeah, the worst thing with insects is that a lot of times you won't even notice something bit you or even if you do, you probably will think it's not something serious. And really, there's just too many of them and it would be really a challenge to remember which ones to avoid.

So just avoid them all together. Hahaha!

Well, okay. Insects like this don't exist in the city. (Duh!)The ones in our backyard can't kill, of course (let's hope not!), but they are still annoying. Really annoying. But okay, okay. They're part of the ecosystem, yeah, and they help balance whatever,...okay. Annoying!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Some random personal stuff

I realized that I have been idle for years now. Idle when it comes to things I used to be passionate about. I don't know. The past years seemed like a whirlwind of things thrown in together. I have been busy with new things and I lost the old ones, the old, familiar ones I used to do. I thought about how I lived the last 5 years and I can't really say which took me away from my old passions.

For example, all I remember is that I don't want to sing anymore. Not in front of a crowd. Not ever again. It doesn't feel like 'me' somehow. Years ago, the stage is one of the most comfortable places for me. If you ask me now, just thinking about it makes me cringe. I still sing though in karaoke nights and in music videos my sister and I make when we want to be silly. Umm...that's it.

It's not that I don't have something that I am really passionate about right now. I just feel that I'm not doing enough. I'm searching for a purpose. A chance maybe to change something. Or something that will change me.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

:)


LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this Sunday's homily. :)

(Happiness! Nag-bear na ng flowers yung tinanim kong halaman!)

4AM

Sabi ni Apple, ako lang ang gumagawa ng sarili kong problema.

Gaga lang daw akong sadya.

Hmmm. Baka nga. Hahahahaha!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

2Become1

Nag-karaoke kami ni Bruha kanina. Puro kanta ng Spice Girls. Natawa ako sa 2 Become 1 kasi ngayon ko lang nabasa/inintindi yung lyrics. I know it is about sex pero naloka ako dito:

"Be a little bit wiser,baby. Put it on, Put it on."

Well, it's good that they thought about contraception but, I don't know. I still find it a bit odd for a song.

You know what I mean. Hahahahaha!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Can you excuse us for a minute?

Three things, okay?
1) No need to rush. No one is pressuring you. Take it one step at a time.
2) What's up with THAT? You KNOW what you have to do with it.
3) One last word: FOCUS!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

If you love me, won't you let me know

Got my Sex Diff final grade today. :) Supposedly, I have July class but I dropped it this morning. Wala lang. Haha! I'm taking Abnormal Psyc sa August instead.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Gets mo?


Ang concern ko sa buhay ko ngayon e kung paano babalansehin ang school, work, at extra curricular activities ko nang hindi pinapatay ang sarili ko.

Ikaw, ano ba ang concern mo?

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Honesty is the best policy

Erm, I want to write something about... ummm... no. I don't think I can put it here. At least, not yet. I was thinking about this last night and somehow, every solution I thought about leads to a dead end. I don't know. Maybe this is just young adult angst, if there is such a thing.

...

No. Scratch that. It's not about me. It's about the system I was born into. And the rotten side of the culture that those people older than me, who has greater power, help perpetuate by using it to their advantage. Honestly, this is the reason why I often hesitate working with other organizations. Most of them do not think about the goal but the glory. Politics is everywhere. Their words are nice to hear but listening to it, I find them quite empty.

It dawned on me that after all this - this whole being-active-in-the-community thing - that there's only a number of people who genuinely cares about our country.

Nope. No apologies for saying this.

Friday, May 30, 2008

First day

First day went well. It helps that I'm a weirdo who gets delighted at the sight of grapefruit spoons, melon ballers, cheese slicers, and all those kitchen gadgets that you can always do without. Haha! Everyone's nice and work is not boring. All good!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Poetry Hunting

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
by E. E. Cummings


somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands


---
Reading poems right now. Haha. Wala lang. Nasa mood lang for some literature.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Can't think of a title

Morning:
I cleaned my half of Bikini Bottom. Books were piled up beside my bed and they needed some organization.

Afternoon:
Watched the favorite romcom. Yes, I know. Walang kasawa-sawa. Hindi ko na nga mabilang kung ilang beses ko yun pinanood pero natatawa pa rin ako at nakikilig. Hahaha! If you know me, you should know which movie I'm talking about.

Evening:
Barbecue!

And since wala ang mga panget, I can play all the songs I want here sa basement without someone complaining that they don't know the songs that I know. The nerve ni Bruha magcomplain. E yung mga kanta na pinapatugtog nya e hindi nga nya matranslate sa amin ni Panget. Wahahaha!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Latest news

Anak-Pawis' Crispin Beltran died yesterday.

Still sick

Watched Penelope this morning. The movie is sooo cute! I love the colors! I really like movies that have very pretty production design. And, and James McAvoy. Wow. Just wow. I already love him. Hahaha! I will definitely watch Wanted next month.

Lem texted me earlier. She's going to BDI with some of our friends and asked if I wanted to come. It sucks because I can't go. I still feel dizzy whenever I stand or walk or do anything that will require me to move a lot. Argh...

So for now, I'm going to watch more movies. And hopefully I can get some sunshine before the day ends.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Not in my element

I'm really, really sick. Two days now. I can't even stand long enough without getting dizzy. So yeah, I'm just here in my room, watching movies, reading stuff, and all that. Just finished watching Made of Honor. Hindi ako kinilig. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not in the mood for anything cute and rosy and fun today.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Toink!

Isang convo mula sa aking kaibigan:

Gusto ata makita sa webcam ang kagandahan...

Guy: salamat nalang
Guy: daya mo talaga
Guy: baka bakla ka ano
Gay Friend: well maganda akong bakla


Taray!

Anxious

I hate waiting.

Is this love?

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

-- Yvaine, Stardust

Monday, May 12, 2008

Psychologist

My sister and I had a conversation the other night after watching a news clip about this woman who has an unbelievable memory. She can remember each day of her life from the big events to the most mundane ones like what she ate for breakfast in May 2, 1988. I found myself talking about Psychology with much passion. Even I was surprised. I mean, I like it but I never thought I would be so absorbed into it that I would be able to talk and talk and discuss it with somebody else, especially like my sister who's not that into the subject. But she too was amazed by the woman's ability so I told her about what I know, which is not a lot by the way, but the conversation went on and on and then we talked about other mental disorders and stuff and I...enjoyed it. I found myself happy that I know the things that I know and that I actually look forward to learning more. If you ask me right now how did this happen, I will tell you that a part of my brain, the psychologist part, says that I chose this course that's why I am subconsciously "forced" to like it. The other half, the "just me" part, says that maybe this is really the one for me.

But honestly, when I think about this whole psychology stuff, I get scared. Sometimes I think I'm not good enough to be able to do something really great in this field. I mean, I am okay now but what comes after this is what I'm worried about. I visited websites of some of the best schools offering graduate studies in Psychology and they are kind of intimidating. It feels like you can't get in unless you're super smart and constantly getting A+'s. Argh. Torture. So I don't know, at least, not yet. I have a year to figure out what I really want to do in this field. Hopefully by the time I have to sign up for a thesis advisor, I already have a decision.

I just finished watching this clip about a little boy who can't sleep because of a rare condition called chiari malformation in which his brain stem, the part which controls sleep and various other body functions, is squeezed by his spinal column. Interesting? Oh yeah!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Do you hear me? I'm talking to you.

You're soooo cute. Ha-ha-ha!

Right here, right now

  • Sybil is now in the Philippines! Saw her cousins through webcam. Haha! Sobrang kukulit nila.
  • Coldplay is coming to Winnipeg!!! SOOOBRRANGGG naexcite ako nung nabasa ko. I told Arianne and Sybil about it and GAME NA GAME na kami. Wahaha! Sabi ko kay Arianne, kailangang eye to eye na kami ni Chris Martin pag kinanta nya yung Fix You (na sana tugtugin nga nila!) Wahaha! Plano naming gastusan talaga ang concert na ito. EXCITED!!!
  • Watched 27 Dresses this afternoon. I know. I'm SUPER LATE.
  • Jason Mraz' song Lucky is REALLY, REALLY PRETTY. Grabe. I have it on repeat sa imeem. It's actually playing right now while I'm typing this. It's a duet with Colbie Callait! Included sya sa bagong album which will be released next week, I think. Waaah. I want a copy.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Popcorn

Matagal ko nang balak magbabad sa movie house pero hindi matuloy-tuloy. Nawalan na nga ako ng gana sa Forbidden Kingdom. Wahahaha! Pero there are three movies that I wanna see!

1) Made of Honor - One reason: Patrick Dempsey. Haha!
2) Iron Man - Maganda daw. Maganda ang reviews.
3) Prince Caspian - Naku. Gusto ko tong mapanood mismo sa May 16.

Sa June pa ata ang Wanted (Angelina!). Tapos end of May pa ata ang Indiana Jones at Sex and the City. At ipapalabas pala ang My Blueberry Nights dito. Sana mapanood ko din.

Ang dami nila. Hahaha! Bigla ko tuloy naisip ang Philippine movie industry. Hahaha! Bat parang wala atang magandang palabas ngayon?

Friday, May 2, 2008

Because I'm not doing anything right now...

Yesterday...

I was sick so I read fairytales. Hehe. I read not the Disney, kiddie versions but the real, gory ones. Little Mermaid's story is the saddest. Martyr kung martyr. Her situation: She gave up everything for the guy, but he only sees her as his best friend, his little sister, his companion. Lagi lang second si Little Mermaid sa kanya kasi nga gusto nya yung girl na inakala nyang nag-save sa kanya dati. Pero ang totoo nun, si LM naman talaga yung nag-save sa kanya. Hindi naman masabi ni LM kasi nga hindi naman nya mapapaliwanag kung paano. In the end, namatay sya tapos yung prince kinasal dun sa girl na mahal nya. Sad.

Ngayon ko lang talaga nabasa 'tong mga to. Puro verbal kwento lang dati e. Nakaka-shock pala pag sa papel. Haha!

Basta ang sad talaga nung kay Little Mermaid.

Today...

Even if I'm still not feeling well, I went to the univ to pay for my tuition fee and return (seven!!!heavy!!!) books to the library. Then, I went to look for a job. Hahahaha!

I walked, walked, walked and enjoyed the sun. Sobra nga lang mahangin pero ayos na rin. :)

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Coz I don't have anything to do or say



The supposed-to-be Centennial Graduate

I was supposed to graduate this year. Centennial grad dapat ako sa Diliman. I've seen pictures of my ex-blockmates and other UP friends and I'm really happy to see them donning the sablay, wearing their white dresses/barongs, and flashing their prettiest smiles. A number also graduated with honors.


I thought I will feel a tinge of jealousy and/or sadness but I was surprised that all I felt was happiness for them. Siguro nga, I'm already okay. When I remember UP, I don't think about how much I wanted to be there anymore. Instead, lessons that I learned comes to mind. I don't question why I am here anymore.

1st

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Lalalalalala

Destiny has good jokes and I can't help but laugh.

Sick

Wrong timing ang sakit ko ngayon. Naman! Ngayon pa talaga na ang dami kong planong gawin. So wala akong choice ngayon kung hindi magpahinga. Pati boses ko, nagbabantang mawala. Konti na lang talaga di na ko makakasalita. Grabe lang.

So right now, I'm stuck in my blue room doing practically nothing.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Freedom!

Finished my last exam this morning!

FREEDOM!

I'm still here though. I'm currently waiting for Arianne and Lem. Super idle time at the computer lab! Haha!


EDIT:
Exam is okay though I'm sure I incorrectly identified a frieze and a sarcophagus in Part I and totally just wrote whatever on the section about ceramics (which is super boring, by the way). Surprisingly, I enjoyed answering Part 3, the long answer section. I chose questions #2, which is about triumphal arches, and #3, about imperial portraits.

Hope my prof will be lenient. Ha-ha! While reviewing for that exam, I realized I shouldn't have skipped a lot of classes on that course. (Prof sees me at u-coll almost everytime I skip because that's where her office is. Really bad! But I stopped only when I realized she actually knows me by name. Nahiya rin ako.) It is easier to remember the art when I've already seen it in class. Well, LESSON LEARNED.

I don't know if I can still take another art class. Hopefully I can but I might take more Psyc courses next year so I'm not sure. Work in psychology is beginning to get heavier and heavier. I'm learning to accept the fact that I cannot avoid Science and Math anymore. Ha-ha. 3rd year means more of these two.

Why am I still talking about school, you ask? I'm still in the withdrawal period. I still feel that there are things that should be done even if there are none. Hindi ako mapakali. Grabe. Is this weird?

Monday, April 21, 2008

After a few hours...

HAPPY. HAPPY. HAPPY.

EFFort

TINATAMAD NA KO!

I should do something on the 25th to celebrate TEMPORARY FREEDOM:
1) BDI trip or...
2) Watch Forbidden Kingdom

I'm still thinking. Yes, this is what I'm thinking about right now.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Thanks ah!

Tip #1 Make your goal public.

Coz that way, you'll be pushed to REALLY do it. That's social psychology at work, baby! Hahaha!
I'm excited!
Can't wait to write my final exam so I can officially start
it.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

On the Rice

News about the rice shortage is everywhere! I don't know what the real situation is but TV Patrol makes it seem everyone is in a panic. The big issue in the Philippines is now RICE. Suddenly everyone forgot the ZTE scandal. Rice took the spotlight away from Jun Lozada. I can see someone named Mike smiling from ear to ear. Hehe!

Anyway, for someone like me who doesn't know much about the agricultural society and the rice industry, it is surprising to know that we are actually that short on our rice supply and that the country has been depending on imported rice for years and years now. I thought the Philippines is an agricultural country. The image we've always had about us Pinoys is that we have ricefields and we plant rice. We have rice for every meal. One of our greatest landmarks is the rice terraces. Rice, rice, rice. Yaddah, yaddah. The reality, apparently, is the local industry is dying. The rice Pinoy's eat is not Pinoy rice. Our farmers decreasing, farm lands are being converted to anything but for agricultural use, and funds going to, ehem, importing rice (with "little" sums going to someone else's pocket!). I think we produce more workers to send abroad than sacks of rice.

Ny idol, Randy David, wrote this article about the rice shortage. Hehe. Very enlightening. Kaya ko to idol e. Haha! He pointed out that the government chose to import rice instead of helping the local farmers meet the needs of Pinoys. Kasi nga naman daw, cheaper and, ehem, pwedeng maka-kickback! Sabi ni idol Randy, the government (not just this government but also the ones that came before this) did not and does not encourage agriculture in the country. Instead, they push people to work abroad. They let the economy depend on the remittances of the Filipinos working on foreign soil. Napaisip tuloy ako. Is labour the number one product exported by the Philippines? Wow. Grabe. Hindi ba napaka-unstable nito? Pano kaya to in the long run? Magiging official national symbol na ba talaga ang Balikbayan Box?

This issue is so hot right now. Pati hoarding ng rice uso na daw. Tsk. I wonder how will the government solve this problem. Surely they can't just give away NFA rice forever. They have to solve the problem and make sure the shortage will not happen again. They HAVE to, yes, but the crucial question is will they choose the right course of action? That remains to be seen.

I'm back because...

School is over. Ermm...almost. I still have one exam to write on the 25th but who cares, I have idle time now. Haha!

It has a been a long, long time since the last entry. I did not stop from writing though. I just kept my entries somewhere in my hard drive. No plans on putting them here, that will be tedious and time consuming. Hahaha! Excuses.

To fill the gap, let's just say that a LOT have happened.

  • School still taking most of my time. Grabe, nakakastress ang statistics. Exam 2 was horrible!
  • Met a lot of new people.
  • Ano pa ba??? Hahaha! Ayoko na hahaba pa to e.


Anyway, summer will be VERY busy. No complains here! I am actually excited about the next four months.


I have a confession, DON'T TELL ANYBODY:

I actually miss waking up to go to school.