Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Grad Blues

I am graduating in a few months and expectations are high. I'm trying to push the what-will-I-do-after-this thoughts away to the back of my mind. Maybe I'm still in denial about graduating. I'm living by the moment right now. But after Jiggs asked me earlier, if I see myself living in the Philippines or here in the Peg it suddenly dawned on me that I really have no idea where I want to stay. I mean, I am sure that I don't want to stay in the homeland nor here in Winnipeg for the rest of my life but I don't have any alternatives in mind either. If you ask me right now, I just want to go from one place to another with no concern about permanence. The thing is I have to pick a Law school and stay there for at least three years. As to where, I don't know. The idea of living in a place and getting stuck there for a long, long time actually makes me anxious.

And then I realize, I have no destination because I have no reason to go and stay somewhere. That's what I need, I guess - a reason. Right now I just have two things in mind - the internship and my projects. That's it for me and I really, really, really hope that they will materialize. Shit no. I will make them happen. But anything after that... I don't know already. If I won't be able to go to BC for that internship, I don't know what I will do. Work maybe but where, I am not sure.

Jiggs told me to just wait until I actually graduate coz that's when I need the answer. For now, I guess I'll just focus on what I need to finish then I'll figure something out. I just hope I'll find it in me soon.  


  1. agree ako! cross the bridge when you get there!!! para less stressed..

  2. agree ako kay sybs. don't think too much, for now focus on what you have to do and that is to graduate. after that, something will come up for you. ganyan din ako dati. goodluck joann, enjoy your final days as an undergrad student.

  3. Thanks, guys!

    I just hope something will really come up and make this graduation thing much easier. LOL

    For now, yes, I'm gonna STUDY and have lotsa FUN. :D


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