I am graduating in a few months and expectations are high. I'm trying to push the what-will-I-do-after-this thoughts away to the back of my mind. Maybe I'm still in denial about graduating. I'm living by the moment right now. But after Jiggs asked me earlier, if I see myself living in the Philippines or here in the Peg it suddenly dawned on me that I really have no idea where I want to stay. I mean, I am sure that I don't want to stay in the homeland nor here in Winnipeg for the rest of my life but I don't have any alternatives in mind either. If you ask me right now, I just want to go from one place to another with no concern about permanence. The thing is I have to pick a Law school and stay there for at least three years. As to where, I don't know. The idea of living in a place and getting stuck there for a long, long time actually makes me anxious.
And then I realize, I have no destination because I have no reason to go and stay somewhere. That's what I need, I guess - a reason. Right now I just have two things in mind - the internship and my projects. That's it for me and I really, really, really hope that they will materialize. Shit no. I will make them happen. But anything after that... I don't know already. If I won't be able to go to BC for that internship, I don't know what I will do. Work maybe but where, I am not sure.
Jiggs told me to just wait until I actually graduate coz that's when I need the answer. For now, I guess I'll just focus on what I need to finish then I'll figure something out. I just hope I'll find it in me soon.