Quit You

It's really hard to know when to give up on something. It's harder, even, to know that something or someone is not for you. Really, when do you draw the line? How do you know when to actually stop? It's difficult. There's no visible, tangible sign to let us know that it is time to quit. Everyone can say, "hey missy, clearly this one is not for you" but, really, if that's not the thought you have in your head, all words won't matter. Quitting, I guess, is one of the most difficult thing in the world. We quit on bad things usually - things that kill us. But things get a bit more complicated when you quit on relationships, on people, on dreams. We often don't have the capacity to know when someone is bad for us. A lot of times we keep on working towards a goal that is not, in a sense, ours. And when other people starts making you realize these mistakes, we often ignore them thinking that we know better. But really we don't. Often times we are blinded by our own emotions that we don't see how things bad are. And that really, it is time to move on and quit. We often stay and stick with what we are used to because they are familiar and comfortable. Even if they are wrong, even if change should be the way to go, we stay because losing something and risking something are two things we always try to avoid. Quitting, in this case,is risking. It's a gamble.

Things are complicated. I've seen people stay in relationships that are toxic to them and I've seen people chase dreams that are clearly not for them. It's hard to watch someone you care about ruin their life right in front of you and not do anything about it. But really, what can we do? It will always come to a point where it would be tiring to care for people who won't listen and just continues on with whatever shit they are dealing with. We can only go so far. I wasn't surprised about what this person did but still it's hard not to be angry and disappointed. It's impossible not to be affected in a way. I took good care of that relationship, friends and more-than-friends, and even after I decided to end the more-than-friends part, I took it upon myself not to let our friends be affected by the decision I made. But my efforts are obviously futile. All went down to the drain. But I don't want to be wrapped up anymore in frustration and disappointing shit that I get with what is currently happening. It's too exhausting. And admittedly, I am this close to indifference.

Soon enough I'll be quitting again. This time as a friend.